Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

notachinesewoman

Offline (18 hours ago) | Search for a member

notachinesewoman

1Liked!

notachinesewomannotachinesewoman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 April 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1793
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About notachinesewoman : Well, I love reading and playing video games. I love animals(Have 8 dogs and a kitten). I do kick boxing. Hablo español, I speak English, eu falo português, et je parle français. Currently receiving mandarin lessons. My name's Ana, nice to meet you.
PD:I'm really bad at introducing myself.
Feel free to send a message or a snapchat at analala25

notachinesewoman's page activity

Visits<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - yesterday at 1:47am<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 1:09pm<b>incoherentrmblr</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:51am<b>Tankyumbreon</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:29pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 9:05am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 10:25am<b>devildog562</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 11:57pm<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 2:24pm<b>disturbed678</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 6:58pm<b>aleximo</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 7:19pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:51pm<b>Suchadiva</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 12:46pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:04pm<b>Martijn1102</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 3:29pm<b>Hime9908</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 8:41pm<b>QWERTY_in_CAPS</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:38am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 9:57pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:47pm

Liked!<b>Hime9908</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:20am

notachinesewoman's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of notachinesewoman's badges

notachinesewoman's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36168) - you deserved it (11021)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25829) - you deserved it (52033)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41155) - you deserved it (3685)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

#21250056
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (2802)

On 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm - health - by germophobe (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

#21249416
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48006) - you deserved it (3842)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:34am - misc - by MLeguillon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46881) - you deserved it (3801)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41345) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (4940)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27288) - you deserved it (15212)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37327) - you deserved it (13005)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend called me in tears, convinced that he found me in a porn video online. It wasn't me. And when I finally got him to give me the web address, I too started crying at the realization of how fat he thinks I am. FML

#21243572
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48821) - you deserved it (4348)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by confidence taken - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I asked my husband to tell me something nice about myself. He thought for a few moments, then said, "Uh, you shit quietly." FML

#21239720
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34168) - you deserved it (5687)

On 08/17/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by ugh thanks - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37679) - you deserved it (6330)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Cynthia's illustrated FML
  • TFIF indeed. It's time to kick off the suit and tie and forget about work. Some of us are going out for drinks with friends, others are going to enjoy some live music and some brave fools are going to keep fit…

Friday 28 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: