Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

notachinesewoman

Search for a member

notachinesewoman

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 April 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 961
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About notachinesewoman : Well, I love reading and playing video games. I love animals(Have 8 dogs and a kitten). I do(and love)kick boxing. I won't speak first... I'm quite shy. Hablo español, I speak English, eu farlo português, et je parle français
PD:I'm really bad at introducing myself.
Feel free to send a message or a snapchat at analala25

notachinesewoman's page activity

Visits<b>abdiG</b> - 2 hours ago<b>killer0689</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Semperfi92340</b> - 19 hours ago<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - 23 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 9:09pm<b>eddyinfinity</b> - yesterday at 8:48pm<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - yesterday at 3:06am<b>braver7315</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:21am<b>Peck_Kcep</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 2:08pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:35am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 4:36pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 9:32am<b>thomas5915</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:49am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 9:13pm<b>terryaly</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 7:05pm<b>Mads_1234</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 11:45am<b>maxymum7</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 6:33am<b>martini47</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:41pm

notachinesewoman's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of notachinesewoman's badges

notachinesewoman's favorite FMLs

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (3023)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (4885)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37621) - you deserved it (3297)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his friends, "I never knew what real contraception was until I saw Laura's face." I'm Laura. FML

#21219482
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36822) - you deserved it (3548)

On 07/24/2014 at 4:51pm - love - by I don't condome that, babe (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

#21218616
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31621) - you deserved it (17718)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:24pm - health - by ThunderThighs (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38154) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43640) - you deserved it (6005)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

#21211826
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39808) - you deserved it (11710)

On 07/17/2014 at 11:57am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53552) - you deserved it (3821)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML

#21195344
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33781) - you deserved it (21122)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm - misc - by wiifantcso (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49406) - you deserved it (4153)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent the whole day doing a 500 piece puzzle. The last piece didn't fit. FML

#21191359
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (5994)

On 06/28/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Puzzlepiece - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: