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Offline (the 09/22/2016 at 7:42am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 April 1999 (17 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5973
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About notachinesewoman : Hi. I don't bite, say hello and ask whatever you want to know :)
I'm currently studying to become a chef.
I'm the one with dark hair.
I love animals, reading, playing video games, going out, making people laugh, etc.. ☺️
I speak English, Spanish and French
If you read all the way here, thank you, have a nice day:)

notachinesewoman's page activity

Visits<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 12:10pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 10:57am<b>vreid</b> - the 06/21/2016 at 11:22am<b>JZAMORA777</b> - the 06/04/2016 at 8:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 5:54pm<b>hunter1019</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 10:11pm<b>emi_alejandra</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 8:42pm<b>PercyD1456</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:00pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 11:35pm<b>nicksmith228</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 2:31pm<b>hardesty2904</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 11:43am<b>wafflelover</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:08pm<b>dbyrne20</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 7:42pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 3:35pm<b>jqmalang</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 5:05pm<b>cuervobombz</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 7:14am<b>badmandilon</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 8:26pm<b>brainymes</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 7:32pm

Fucked!<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 6:10pm<b>wafflelover</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 2:08am<b>shadow_heart_13</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 3:56pm<b>tiptoe55</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 4:42am<b>FattMatt01</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 2:57am<b>Hime9908</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:20am

notachinesewoman's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of notachinesewoman's badges

notachinesewoman's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Turns out we only have one thing in common: we would both bang Hillary Clinton. FML

by Anon / 04/28/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML

by poop / 03/24/2016 at 2:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2015 at 11:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

by allykat / 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, my neighbor's five-year-old rode his tricycle into a history diorama I had spent days slaving over. When I confronted him, he just said, "Vroom vroom muthafucka." FML

by hellalegit / 11/07/2014 at 1:26am / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

by SaintGoobers / 10/06/2014 at 4:24pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

by apparentlybutch / 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

by germophobe / 09/01/2014 at 9:53pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, after years of wonderful flying experiences, I boarded a flight and took my seat only to find a baby sitting in front of me, behind me, and to the right of me, and across the aisle from me. All of whom decided to cry in unison. It was a 9-hour flight. FML

by MLeguillon / 09/01/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Missouri) / Transportation

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

by disappointedjamaican / 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 12:34am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love