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not_kidding

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not_kidding
  • Town/Country : Nowhere, Noplace
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 289
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About not_kidding : Who cares about me? Go out there and read some funny(or not) FMLs!!!!!!

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not_kidding's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
215 comments

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

#18973546
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14851) - you deserved it (4563)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm - health - by 11niko (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50155) - you deserved it (10127)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, MS Word kept crashing with a memory error, so I called tech support. Instead of actually fixing the problem, their tech wasted over an hour of my time defragmenting the hard drive, disabling the anti-virus, and downloading new video card drivers from some shady site, before giving up. FML

#18283702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17693) - you deserved it (2106)

On 11/18/2011 at 7:48pm - work - by I quit (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9447) - you deserved it (46830)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML

#16829160
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9447) - you deserved it (46830)

On 06/24/2011 at 2:47am - work - by gutav indogop - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6159) - you deserved it (37410)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18718) - you deserved it (30460)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (93408)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37811) - you deserved it (2400)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I went out to my car only to find my battery had died the night before. With the wind chill, it was -20°F outside. With the hood open, and jumper cables in one hand, I tried to flag down a passing motorist for help. A man in a truck slowed down, sarcastically waved at me, and kept driving. FML

#14663711
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20413) - you deserved it (1986)

On 01/21/2011 at 4:50pm - misc - by dwhitehouse (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my girlfriend had sex with three different guys in one day. All at a party. A party that I was at. FML

#14035490
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (6109)

On 11/30/2010 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by crushed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

#13893679
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (3096)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

#8160504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21306) - you deserved it (2556)

On 02/12/2010 at 6:39am - health - by Stressy (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)



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