This member hasn't filled in their description.
nosliwarejit's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
nosliwarejit's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on in a water park changing stall. A woman and a security guard barged in and angrily told us that there were children around. We were escorted out of the park wearing nothing but our swimsuits. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 3:35pm / Intimacy
by cero_kewl / 03/05/2012 at 12:12am / United States / Work
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML
by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 9:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by secretpornstar / 06/13/2011 at 3:23pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh) / Intimacy
by wtfiswrongwithher / 05/07/2011 at 9:56am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
Today, I tried opening a can for the first time using a manual can opener. I tried for a half hour to open a can of ravioli, mutilating the can in the process. Only after watching five Youtube videos on how to use a manual can opener did I notice the pull-tab on the top of the ravioli can. FML
by Anonymous / 11/10/2010 at 12:14pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by kebaby / 06/19/2010 at 7:19pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML
by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my 5th birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML
by Ex-girlfried / 09/06/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
by embarrassed4life / 06/25/2009 at 12:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
by dirtyhands / 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
- « Previous page
- Next page »