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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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noshitsherlock

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noshitsherlock
  • Town/Country : West Los Angeles, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 60837
  • Number of comments : 384
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About noshitsherlock : I'll choose to be.... mysterious...

noshitsherlock's last visitors

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noshitsherlock's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend reached over and pinched my love handles and said "Where did this muffin top come from?". Then he sang "Do you know the muffin man?" to me. FML

#8083041 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/10/2010 at 7:30am - misc - by muffingirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML

#6310679 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (3720)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was frustrated at work so to have fun, I wrote an email to myself saying that I was great and loved myself and should relax. I used all different colors and fonts. Instead of hitting "delete", I hit "print" without realizing. My manager got it out of the printer and put it on my desk. FML

#5658558 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (5957) - you deserved it (23915)

On 10/05/2009 at 6:49am - work - by Me (woman) - Kuwait

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (2200)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (2964)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML

#4867119 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (62860) - you deserved it (2220)

On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34985) - you deserved it (98555)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a resident went missing at our nursing home. When I found him, a man in a blue shirt and red pants, he started yelling at me in confusion. I just thought it was his alzheimers. When I brought him to my administrator, I was told the missing resident was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. Wrong guy. FML

#3933300 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (12851) - you deserved it (25475)

On 07/21/2009 at 4:22pm - health - by torkx3 (woman) - United States (New York)