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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
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noooix's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I told my husband that I'm jealous of all the other girls whose husbands always take pictures of them together and post them online. He responded by posting a picture of himself, with me on the toilet in the background, captioned "The bitch on the pot." FML
by Anonymous / 08/19/2014 at 2:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Love
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 9:47am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by jennythezebra / 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm / United Kingdom (Croydon) / Work
by mathesonn / 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Work
by (not) fucked / 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by salmone / 05/15/2014 at 9:03pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML
by workfordayzz / 05/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States / Work
by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by kids / 05/12/2014 at 1:17am / Kids
Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
- Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In… Today, I just found out that my brother in law and his wife frequent a swingers establishment that… Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a…