About nooneelse : FUCK MY LIFE!
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nooneelse's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally figured out why my mechanic was so cheap; he wanted to sleep with me. After I politely declined, he charged me regular price plus extra for "humiliating" him. He's 60. I just recently turned 18. FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2011 at 8:49pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I informed my family of my plans to divorce my wife after catching her cheating on me twice. They bitched me out because I will not be able to survive financially or emotionally without her support. I'm a doctor. She's been unemployed for 2 straight years. FML
by Matt / 08/11/2011 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Michael tee / 08/11/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
by bathroomgirl / 08/11/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bob / 08/11/2011 at 8:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML
by juanjohnfml / 08/11/2011 at 4:17am / United States (California) / Money
by MaydayManic / 08/10/2011 at 9:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by thatfatkid / 08/10/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 08/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Nekro_Kat / 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, while cleaning the bathroom in a suite at the hotel I work at, I heard a couple come in, and then a marriage proposal. She said no, that she had been seeing someone else and left the room. I was then alone in the bathroom, listening to a grown man sob. FML
by smurfpoo / 08/09/2011 at 3:35am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
by assante2010 / 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm / United States (Maine) / Love
by Baconcook3000 / 07/23/2011 at 7:00am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by tgd4444 / 07/23/2011 at 6:29am / Malaysia (Johor) / Miscellaneous
by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, I was looking forward to swimming for the entire day. As soon as I finally got in the water,… Today, I received a grade of zero on an 800 word essay I had to write for class. Why? It came out… Today, I finished cat sitting for a week. Normally, I would be okay with not getting paid. However,…
- Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…