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noodlesarelove

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noodlesarelove

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  • Number of visits : 934
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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noodlesarelove's favorite FMLs

Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML

#19705256
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (3728)

On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30651) - you deserved it (7422)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

#19702811
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (3034)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:25am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

#19699093
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you deserved it (1627)

On 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm - misc - by joanne (woman) - United States

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (11786)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML

#19690417
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (1717)

On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

#19687199
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31625) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

#19687154
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (6874)

On 05/27/2012 at 3:19am - misc - by iPhonekid - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

#19684129
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24121) - you deserved it (1749)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (9047)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

#19598772
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11129) - you deserved it (36379)

On 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm - intimacy - by polimeros (man) - Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga)

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

#19579896
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2512)

On 05/06/2012 at 12:09am - health - by catherineratley - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17363) - you deserved it (29721)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (4437)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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