noodlesarelove

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noodlesarelove

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1525
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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noodlesarelove's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:25am

noodlesarelove's FML badges

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50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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noodlesarelove's favorite FMLs

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé and I broke up, and he won't answer my calls or texts. I don't want him back; he has my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 1:25am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

by joanne / 05/29/2012 at 1:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to get the manager of a grocery store to explain to his employee how coupons work. The employee had refused to accept the coupons I was using, for fear that, "they will be deducted from my paycheck." FML

by brunurb / 05/29/2012 at 7:40am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

by Shianna / 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML

by hitnmiss66 / 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had three things converge that should never be together: my period, hot doctor, and a colonoscopy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/27/2012 at 3:42am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML

by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML

by dany / 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

by ilovemymomma / 05/26/2012 at 3:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, I shut my finger in the car door. The door locked. Then I dropped the keys on the ground and couldn't reach them. FML

by catherineratley / 05/06/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML

by epicsquishii / 05/01/2012 at 7:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy