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noodlesarelove

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noodlesarelove

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  • Number of visits : 917
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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noodlesarelove's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

#19783803
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10455) - you deserved it (30144)

On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23565) - you deserved it (3229)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to a guy outside my house, who wanted to give me flowers and take me out on a date. Aside from it all being pretty fucking creepy anyway, the guy is my not quite right in the head second cousin, who's apparently now head-over-heels in love with me. FML

#19778699
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24501) - you deserved it (1948)

On 06/12/2012 at 8:24pm - love - by Az (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

#19776975
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (3867)

On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (2332)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML

#19775546
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27267) - you deserved it (8175)

On 06/12/2012 at 7:58am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)

Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML

#19774183
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (3386)

On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24526) - you deserved it (3301)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML

#19770940
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19357) - you deserved it (2853)

On 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm - work - by bronieswillrule5eva (man) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

#19769783
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8145) - you deserved it (40325)

On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

#19769177
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27234) - you deserved it (4697)

On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

#19764297
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24800) - you deserved it (2647)

On 06/10/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by eddie818 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, neither of my parents fought for my custody. FML

#19763325
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50974) - you deserved it (3224)

On 06/10/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anon - United States

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31430) - you deserved it (4249)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17426) - you deserved it (42620)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)



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