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noodlesarelove

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noodlesarelove

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  • Number of visits : 932
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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noodlesarelove's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23934) - you deserved it (1424)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7542) - you deserved it (18028)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12393) - you deserved it (24035)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21879) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24091) - you deserved it (2733)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27225) - you deserved it (10858)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML

#20080602
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16662) - you deserved it (2382)

On 09/20/2012 at 10:58am - kids - by Hmmmm (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18094) - you deserved it (26550)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59376) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28915) - you deserved it (3005)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML

#20079219
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28937) - you deserved it (1887)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by jitiizer (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17636) - you deserved it (19247)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22087) - you deserved it (3207)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23495) - you deserved it (1932)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35965) - you deserved it (2279)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



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