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noobienick

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noobienick

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 December 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 473
  • Number of comments : 172
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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noobienick's page activity

Visits<b>Nate_mourar</b> - yesterday at 8:10pm<b>ajspriggs</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 1:55am<b>91hayek</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:59am<b>itsjohannna</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:43am<b>kristi1243</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:38pm<b>ButterflyHaze</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 1:46am<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 2:31pm<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 9:12pm<b>jeezburger12</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 8:23pm<b>enlargedpen</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 6:01pm<b>threer</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 5:07pm<b>llamaslikesoda</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 3:32pm<b>miralars</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:21pm<b>pretzelz101</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:27am<b>sneezingish</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:16am<b>ayeitsjuan</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:08am<b>Thebangs5</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:51am<b>plenipotentiary</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 8:43pm

noobienick's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of noobienick's badges

noobienick's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49770) - you deserved it (10281)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML

#21166318
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45068) - you deserved it (4027)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by yepintheladiesroom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

#21158187
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41461) - you deserved it (3199)

On 05/31/2014 at 12:39pm - health - by half-dead in CA (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47898) - you deserved it (16554)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48977) - you deserved it (3926)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53510) - you deserved it (6242)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41736) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore

Today, my obsession with saying "your mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I did with my pencil. FML

#21108224
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (43400)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by Motha - United States (Utah)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40409) - you deserved it (3592)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48902) - you deserved it (5329)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (37574)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that someone had peed into the bottle of Febreze that we keep in the dorm bathroom. I found this out when I sprayed it onto my coat to get rid of a weird smell. FML

#21019092
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42085) - you deserved it (4167)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46529) - you deserved it (7592)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38496) - you deserved it (2995)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)



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