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noobienick

Offline (the 01/29/2016 at 9:43am) | Search for a member

noobienick

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 December 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1317
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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noobienick's page activity

Visits<b>sky_R03</b> - 21 hours ago<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 9:28pm<b>UnpleasantlyLost</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:21am<b>ginnyweasley666</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 6:49pm<b>Kjaerlighet</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 9:49pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 10:27pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 2:37pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 10/19/2015 at 5:47am<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 4:42pm<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 5:51pm<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 10/14/2015 at 10:25am<b>chrisbeaudoin</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:18pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 5:13pm<b>kpetrovski</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 12:19pm<b>ilikevideosgames</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 3:16am<b>Kyle_byrket</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 9:02pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 7:15pm<b>jtrizzle93</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:18pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:18pm<b>AnthriX95</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:36am<b>caleb_9756</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:08am

noobienick's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of noobienick's badges

noobienick's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

#21463718
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (1560)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

#21402047
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35368) - you deserved it (11627)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm - intimacy - by MiniJeans - United States (Florida)

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

#21292603
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37185) - you deserved it (3812)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:57am - health - by AAnonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (26140)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (3875)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38518) - you deserved it (4213)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

#21278162
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (5136)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:27am - misc - by burritobreasts -

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38970) - you deserved it (3567)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (12721)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

#21248352
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44860) - you deserved it (10806)

On 08/30/2014 at 7:56am - animals - by cat lady (woman) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

#21169063
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54414) - you deserved it (11908)

On 06/10/2014 at 12:02am - love - by MiserableMan (man) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)



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