noobienick

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Offline (the 11/20/2016 at 4:25am)

noobienick

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 27 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1656
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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noobienick's page activity

Visits<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Bliepje</b> - the 11/18/2016 at 4:20am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 10/07/2016 at 2:01pm<b>hare</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 1:51am<b>wildirishrose</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 10:37pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/05/2016 at 2:30pm<b>ILoveMyDogs420</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 2:30pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 1:23pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 07/31/2016 at 12:15am<b>CamBen</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 6:20pm<b>Justkidding100</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 8:19pm<b>coops456</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 6:54am<b>SodeNoShirayuki</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 7:56pm<b>najelly</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 12:59am<b>slappygecko</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 7:43pm<b>summergurl16</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 6:20pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 8:42pm<b>alexjoseph5575</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 10:18am

Fucked!<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 7:23pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:18pm<b>caleb_9756</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 1:08am

noobienick's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of noobienick's badges

noobienick's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:41am / Australia / Work

Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML

by Anonyme / 09/02/2015 at 12:21am / Love

Today, my 14 year old brother and 9 year old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML

by AAnonymous / 11/05/2014 at 8:57am / United States (Utah) / Health

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

by wthiswrongwithmi / 10/22/2014 at 1:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

by burritobreasts / 10/15/2014 at 2:27am / Miscellaneous

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I sent my girlfriend a request to confirm our relationship on Facebook. She accepted, then changed her screen name into "His Hand". FML

by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love