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noobienick's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 09/02/2015 at 11:41am / Australia / Work
Today, I had an argument with my boyfriend who was accusing me of only being in a relationship with him because I'd fantasised about being with an Asian. When I told him he was wrong, he asked me what attracted me to him in the first place. "Your eyes" was definitely the wrong answer. FML
by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by MiniJeans / 04/29/2015 at 10:25pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my ex sent me a pack of beer to screw with me. I'm still going to AA, and I thought I was almost over it. Five bottles later, I realized I'm not. We didn't break up over my drinking, either; it was because after just 2 weeks of dating, she threatened to kill herself if I didn't marry her. FML
by AAnonymous / 11/05/2014 at 8:57am / United States (Utah) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by wthiswrongwithmi / 10/22/2014 at 1:42am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Australian Lifeguard / 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by facepalm / 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
by burritobreasts / 10/15/2014 at 2:27am / Miscellaneous
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…