Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

nonameheffa

Search for a member

nonameheffa

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nonameheffa : Class of '16 I like books .

nonameheffa's page activity

Visits<b>Atomic_Mushroom</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 9:40pm<b>br1015</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 7:08am<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 1:25am<b>GweedSincE84</b> - the 07/30/2013 at 3:53pm<b>army_of_misfits</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 11:16pm<b>AMonica</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 9:25pm<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 12:10am<b>XxCrystalSxX</b> - the 05/31/2013 at 7:09pm<b>XavierG__</b> - the 05/27/2013 at 8:27pm<b>Notyours007</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 12:11am<b>xALEXx</b> - the 05/21/2013 at 12:34am<b>crackmore278</b> - the 05/20/2013 at 9:22am<b>treychat1</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 11:00pm<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 05/19/2013 at 8:44pm<b>Lazguil</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 6:29pm<b>michaelf461</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 10:03am<b>MrHurricane</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 8:52am<b>sillybilly132</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 5:47pm

nonameheffa's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of nonameheffa's badges

nonameheffa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25359) - you deserved it (43005)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42708) - you deserved it (6408)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37060) - you deserved it (4382)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40724) - you deserved it (4365)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I dreamed that Robert Downey Jr. kept flirting with me and asking me out. Each time, I refused him, because I'm taken. When I proudly told my boyfriend, he said, "What the hell? I could've kissed the mouth that kissed the Iron Man!" FML

#21049393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40973) - you deserved it (8321)

On 02/03/2014 at 3:11pm - love - by Can't Believe It. - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

#21046118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58649) - you deserved it (11402)

On 01/31/2014 at 10:29am - intimacy - by wtfjusthappened - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

#21042087
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53321) - you deserved it (4459)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:09pm - health - by knobbed (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44569) - you deserved it (9221)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59513) - you deserved it (4349)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47637) - you deserved it (5078)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45248) - you deserved it (14134)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

#21017461
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52799) - you deserved it (3962)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:11am - love - by Fiancé problemsss - United States (Montana)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46860) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44956) - you deserved it (23391)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: