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Offline (the 02/22/2016 at 4:40am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 586
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nomoreparty : why turtles can only do doggy?

nomoreparty's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:59pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 2:28am<b>MM100</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 1:17pm<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:43pm<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 02/13/2016 at 7:33pm<b>muchwow87</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:03pm<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:49pm<b>darksoul43</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 6:34pm<b>coolequal</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 12:28am<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:01pm<b>Eyalsh</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:08pm<b>am1717</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 2:49pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 1:07pm<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:03pm<b>kkorn051212</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 11:19am<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:08pm<b>myselfkk</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 1:45pm

Fucked!<b>AHzulu</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 9:55pm

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nomoreparty's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

by zachhewett / 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm / United States (Alabama) / Work

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

by anonymous / 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

by gassy / 07/15/2015 at 7:15am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

by don't get paid enough for this / 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

by anon / 01/19/2015 at 12:35am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

by AchievementUnlocked? / 10/19/2013 at 3:30am / United States / Love