nokturn

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nokturn

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 502
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About nokturn : Hey welcome to my page :)
Just a quick note.. Boys stop messaging me about kik and skype I like girls!!!

nokturn's page activity

Visits<b>i_lol_at_life</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 9:29pm<b>tt600ryder</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 9:20am<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 9:22pm<b>hung060694</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:31pm<b>DakotaEdwards</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 1:58pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:21am<b>pawesome21</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 10:58am<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:03am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 8:34am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 5:34pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:43pm<b>Lucarionite</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:11am<b>colinabi</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 11:57am<b>toma1945</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 9:31pm<b>whoopydoodah</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 12:16am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:37am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:28pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 11:06pm

Fucked!<b>TransitLetum</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:22am<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:21pm<b>bmckee196</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:03pm

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nokturn's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

by FLIPmcCOOL / 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

by caught out / 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

by damn / 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

by disappointed / 03/25/2014 at 7:36am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I asked a co-worker why he was wearing sandals, as they are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry with me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, he told her that I walked up to him and asked to suck his toes. FML

by feetfreak / 11/13/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Work

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my daughter's obsession with Canada got out way of hand when she was suspended for climbing up the flagpole, in an attempt to replace the flag with a red-and-white maple leaf one. FML

by VictoriaLeavitt / 06/24/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I discovered that not only is my live-in mother-in-law a fan of Lady Gaga, she dances around the house naked to fully embrace the music. FML

by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 12:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

by RckRagman / 04/30/2009 at 10:55am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

by dramaqueen / 04/14/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

by face / 03/25/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous