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noir_heart

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noir_heart

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 426
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About noir_heart : My name is Brooke. I am sixteen years old. I blow out the candles on January 26th.

I live in a small world filled with judgmental people too absorbed in their own lives, and too fixated on the most minuscule problems to take a look at the beauty around them. My dream is to move to France and write books after I graduate. I love reading novels and drinking tea, especially on rainy days. Also, I have more perpetual cravings than the average pregnant woman on a daily basis.

The more I read this the more it sounds like something you would put in your bio on an online dating site so bye now.

noir_heart's page activity

Visits<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:18pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:33pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:48pm<b>music8484</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 10:24pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Dawnstempest</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:42am<b>seroki</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:27am<b>Dartmania</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 9:51am<b>dumbwhitekid</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 2:51pm<b>Not_Creative</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:19pm<b>Kazenoe</b> - the 09/01/2013 at 9:33am<b>finalfantasyftw</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 2:24pm<b>superkitty10</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 11:52pm<b>squirt_squirt</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 7:10pm<b>alexandras114</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 2:41pm<b>nwhite942</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 1:51pm<b>kingteefteef</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 1:00pm<b>Miss_Guided</b> - the 08/30/2013 at 12:46pm

noir_heart's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of noir_heart's badges

noir_heart's favorite FMLs

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

#20867471
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39540) - you deserved it (6681)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I took my laptop to I.T. to fix my internet. Only after I left did I realise my memory technique for remembering the stages of mitosis (Iraqi penis man anally transmits chlamydia) was left as a sticky note on my desktop. The guy definitely noticed. FML

#20867249
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32967) - you deserved it (10355)

On 09/04/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by interphaseprophasemetaphase (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

#20867080
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36542) - you deserved it (6806)

On 09/04/2013 at 1:25am - misc - by my back hurts - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34756) - you deserved it (6294)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

#20866525
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (36624)

On 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by ugh - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (65435)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18353) - you deserved it (37130)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

#877150
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50317) - you deserved it (33281)

On 04/08/2009 at 8:34pm - work - by ineedanewjob (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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