noir_heart

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noir_heart

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 951
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About noir_heart : My name is Brooke. I am sixteen years old. I blow out the candles on January 26th.

I live in a small world filled with judgmental people too absorbed in their own lives, and too fixated on the most minuscule problems to take a look at the beauty around them. My dream is to move to France and write books after I graduate. I love reading novels and drinking tea, especially on rainy days. Also, I have more perpetual cravings than the average pregnant woman on a daily basis.

The more I read this the more it sounds like something you would put in your bio on an online dating site so bye now.

noir_heart's page activity

Visits<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 2:24pm<b>ruudseriesx</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:46pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:54am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:54pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 4:59am<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:27am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:58pm<b>Valukar</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:56pm<b>dmcintosh</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 10:22am<b>SarahSehhati</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:18pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 7:33pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 2:48pm<b>music8484</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 10:24pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 11:57pm<b>Dawnstempest</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:42am<b>seroki</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 9:27am<b>Dartmania</b> - the 10/12/2013 at 9:51am<b>dumbwhitekid</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 2:51pm

Fucked!<b>cuz803</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 8:24pm

noir_heart's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of noir_heart's badges

noir_heart's favorite FMLs

Today, I went skiing with a girl I like. On the lift I asked her out. She said no. Halfway up the lift stopped. We were stuck up there for nearly an hour. FML

by snowbum69 / 12/15/2013 at 3:38am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 3:50am / United States / Love

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

by this guy / 11/21/2013 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Love

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

by notsogood / 11/08/2013 at 3:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

by barebackingit / 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

by SaveMeTeddy / 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 2:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

by ughreally / 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

by Stheno / 09/16/2013 at 8:49am / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

by whatjusthappened / 09/05/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I used a restroom. While doing my thing, the power in my building completely went out. There was another person in the restroom making demonic noises and scratching at my stall. When the power came back on, he was gone. I think I'm being haunted. FML

by dear god help me. / 09/04/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Hawaii) / Work