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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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nofeckingfair

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nofeckingfair
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 685
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nofeckingfair's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML

#6422914 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (16560) - you deserved it (3213)

On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50104) - you deserved it (9423)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

#4462410 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (924) - you deserved it (2437)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was working in a warehouse where fellow employees were kicking empty boxes around. Seeing a box, I got running distance and kicked it as hard as I could, only to look up in horror to see that I had kicked into our CEO's face. I still had both my arms up in score mode. FML

#4417432 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (32445)

On 08/10/2009 at 12:03am - work - by zwillywilly (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (41551) - you deserved it (4939)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML

#2654949 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (56930) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

#2620784 (319)

I agree, your life sucks (40946) - you deserved it (17221)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120455) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

#1751359 (273)

I agree, your life sucks (61380) - you deserved it (32560)

On 05/08/2009 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by stpdaziandude (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML

#1683543 (544)

I agree, your life sucks (15376) - you deserved it (83284)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

#800940 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (26324) - you deserved it (116072)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML

#764991 (152)

I agree, your life sucks (18892) - you deserved it (81638)

On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

#618909 (375)

I agree, your life sucks (138257) - you deserved it (18738)

On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (32250) - you deserved it (68354)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

#2696 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (50020)

On 01/26/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by Boredom - United States