About noelasis94 : I work eat sleep And spend time with my family and have the strange thing happen once in a while. All attention is welcome even thumbs down. Lastly everyone buy noel gallaghers solo record, it'll make you shake rattle and roll, or just roll.
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noelasis94's favorite FMLs
Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
by Nogood / 03/10/2013 at 5:09am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
by Anonymous / 03/10/2013 at 3:52am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lolk / 03/10/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy
Today, I'm so broke after paying my bills, that I resorted to eating plain garlic butter from the pizzeria down the street for lunch. The worst part: to get the butter, I stormed in and angrily complained, saying they forgot to give it to me. I never even ordered a pizza. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 6:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Money
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm / Pakistan / Love
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
by whaaaaat111 / 03/09/2013 at 7:04am / United States (Virginia) / Money
Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 1:06am / United States / Work
by evilsandwich / 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm / United States / Health
by nopanties / 03/04/2013 at 12:11am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
by stabbed with kindness / 03/02/2013 at 4:44pm / Russian Federation (Moskva) / Money
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
by Anonymous / 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm / United Kingdom / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…