nocanhaz

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nocanhaz

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4136
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About nocanhaz : Best things in life:
Music
Mountain biking
Food
Days that don't suck
And
awkward moments.

nocanhaz's page activity

Visits<b>BonerFart</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:38pm<b>TheBlackMagister</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 4:31am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 11:39pm<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:33pm<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 12:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:36am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 8:01pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 5:53pm<b>auzieforever705</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:34pm<b>rosaaaa</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 6:21am<b>rob_88_wood</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 3:33pm<b>kelseythompson</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 1:48am<b>zelricthestrong</b> - the 05/24/2011 at 2:08am<b>kmarrs</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 9:35pm<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/22/2011 at 11:08pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:39am<b>bookworm05</b> - the 03/02/2011 at 2:14pm<b>Cass3m0</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 11:39am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:36am

nocanhaz's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of nocanhaz's badges

nocanhaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

by Brian / 11/20/2012 at 10:50am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

by Uproar / 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm / Iceland / Kids

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML

by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

by ultraattitude / 04/22/2012 at 3:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while lying in bed, I heard a strange grating noise coming from the hallway. After recovering from my initial assumption that it was a poltergeist come to murder me and steal my liver, I went out to investigate. It was there that I discovered my bulldog casually eating into the wall. FML

by Baustigt / 04/10/2012 at 6:48am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

by Ew. / 04/09/2012 at 11:22am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I got mugged at Disney World, the happiest place on Earth. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 1:15am / United States / Money

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the gnat infestation in my dorm room was not caused by the recent cool weather, but rather the rotten pear I found under my roommates bed. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 1:12pm / United States / Work

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to ask my boss for a raise. He laughed at me and said, "That's hilarious because I was going to ask you if you could take a pay cut!" FML

by corey / 02/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States / Work

Today, I ordered Chinese food. As I approached the restaurant to pick it up, I took out my keys and tried to unlock the front door. By the time I realized my mistake, everyone inside the restaurant had noticed and started laughing at me. FML

by Eric / 02/27/2012 at 4:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

by baconandkittens / 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous