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noahg45

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noahg45

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  • Number of visits : 121
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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noahg45's page activity

Visits<b>farleytb42</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 11:15am

noahg45's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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noahg45's favorite FMLs

Today, I ate at Subway during my lunch hour. A group of teenage girls sat down at the table next to mine. They all shared good laugh about the "friendless, chubby chick" sitting near them, while attempting to discreetly point at me. FML

#21317606
132 comments

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she's been cheating on me for the past two months. Apparently she thought I'd take it well, because when I yelled at her for being a heartless bitch, she stuttered "S-sike!" and tried to play it off as a prank. She's acting like we're still dating. FML

#21316716
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31291) - you deserved it (2463)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32629) - you deserved it (2628)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35740) - you deserved it (3651)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40563) - you deserved it (14491)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55803) - you deserved it (10980)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54093) - you deserved it (5291)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56176) - you deserved it (8033)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46212) - you deserved it (22830)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53200) - you deserved it (8974)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

#21170087
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49406) - you deserved it (8231)

On 06/10/2014 at 8:39pm - kids - by idiotson - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47582) - you deserved it (28469)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52112) - you deserved it (19050)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)



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