nissa0909

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Offline (the 04/20/2016 at 5:40am)

nissa0909

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1017
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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nissa0909's page activity

Visits<b>aliveinthelights</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 9:03pm<b>facelick</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 10:25am<b>ironhead</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 5:49pm<b>Sjus</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 5:24pm<b>BrotherPhil</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 2:18am<b>thistrifelife</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 2:57pm<b>Neyuu</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 5:26am<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 7:04pm<b>fuckyourlifeOP</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 3:50am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 2:23pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/19/2013 at 2:11am<b>Alwaysontherun</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:08pm<b>theWulff</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 2:53pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 05/16/2013 at 12:11am<b>beatlesgirl2u2</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 9:16pm<b>dead_insects</b> - the 05/09/2013 at 2:16am<b>sillybilly132</b> - the 05/01/2013 at 6:25pm<b>karlcolt45</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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nissa0909's favorite FMLs

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

by mew / 10/25/2011 at 2:04pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

by Stuck / 09/08/2011 at 6:00am / United States / Health

Today, a fight broke out in a bar between several people, over some talk about one of their moms being somewhat inclined towards intercourse with her pets. I managed to slip out quietly with just a scratch from flying chair debris, despite having started the rumor. FML

by Username / 08/05/2011 at 10:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

by bham boy / 04/20/2011 at 4:10am / Work

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

by Username / 04/13/2011 at 3:05am / Animals

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

by Amy / 03/31/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

by Waffle / 03/09/2011 at 10:47am / Kids

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

by flattened / 02/10/2011 at 5:58am / Animals

Today, after buying some groceries, I walked back to my car. After trying several times to get in the door, I finally look up and see a terrified little boy holding onto his teacup poodle for dear life, frantically waving me away. My car was two spots over. FML

by me / 12/18/2010 at 10:20pm / United States / Transportation

Today, I woke up to an early Christmas present on my car. It was a nicely wrapped box containing a dead bird, a half eaten sandwich, and a note reading "MERRY F**KING CHRISTMAS STAN." This will probably be my only Christmas present. My name is Luke. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2010 at 9:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I got fined when my fat dog decided to walk across a private film set to get at the catering area. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 11:28am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Money

Today, I went to Starbucks to use the bathroom. After I knocked on the door, and turned the handle, this little old lady rips the door open and goes "I WAS TAKING A DUMP. YOU WANNA COME IN AND WIPE MY SHIT? DO YOU?!" and then continued to ask me the same question for five minutes. FML

by bathroomblunder / 03/06/2010 at 9:38pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

by Dogs loose / 03/02/2010 at 7:17am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

by ninjapup / 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals