nisey3313

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Offline (the 05/04/2016 at 8:02am)

nisey3313

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  • Number of visits : 5390
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nisey3313's page activity

Visits<b>justme_79</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:35am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 3:54am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 10:49pm

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nisey3313's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

by Scaryman / 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

by unfortunate419 / 02/17/2010 at 2:30am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

by adam / 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

by disneyworld / 02/14/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2010 at 12:48am / United States (California) / Love

Today, we had our second snow day in a row, something that never happens. So while the rest of school got to sleep late, I had to wake up early, get dressed, and go to my bus stop because my mom didn't believe me. FML

by goestoschoolonsnowdays / 02/12/2010 at 12:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove my ex-boyfriend home from dropping his car at the garage for new tires. On the way, I drove past my house where my boyfriend was sitting in the driveway ready to surprise me. My boyfriend watched us drive by. FML

by caughttt / 02/09/2010 at 9:52pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

by sweeeeet / 02/08/2010 at 10:29pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a new and extremely attractive girl at youth group, so I decided to introduce myself. Her reply was, "Wow, I've always wanted to meet a gay guy!" FML

by Richard / 02/06/2010 at 1:39pm / Love

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

by Misty3242 / 02/06/2010 at 3:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

by snowman / 02/06/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, I decided to change my boyfriend's background on his phone. As I was in the process of changing it, I noticed his most recent picture is of a naked girl. The naked girl happens to be my 18 year old sister. FML

by whoknows?! / 02/05/2010 at 4:18pm / Love

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2010 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML

by boostedsaab / 02/05/2010 at 12:35am / Love