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nisey3313

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nisey3313
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3055
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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nisey3313's favorite FMLs

Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML

#8737489
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22768) - you deserved it (6128)

On 03/01/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by oboy - United States

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (5914)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22627) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

#8658617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15769) - you deserved it (3112)

On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

#8617932
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35497) - you deserved it (2469)

On 02/24/2010 at 4:28pm - misc - by koolkidx3 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

#8611992
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (1853)

On 02/24/2010 at 9:18am - misc - by Greymoya (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend told me I look like a fish gasping for breath when I "finish" during sex. FML

#8605732
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15161) - you deserved it (3700)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:05am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, my boss made me some tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my #1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them." FML

#8576368
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24788) - you deserved it (4986)

On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML

#8568837
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (2925)

On 02/22/2010 at 9:46pm - love - by Crappyfayman (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while eating at an outdoor café, a man on the street came up to me and said, "My girlfriend is sexier than you, bitch." Thanks for the confidence boost. FML

#8539206
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (1741)

On 02/22/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by sandiego - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (3366)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (3552)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I made heart shaped cookies for my girlfriend. My mom's reaction? "They look like dicks." FML

#8268045
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16158) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:16pm - intimacy - by adam - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

#8232410
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35709) - you deserved it (1891)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:49am - kids - by disneyworld (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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