nisey3313

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nisey3313

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  • Number of visits : 5911
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nisey3313's page activity

Visits<b>justme_79</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 3:35am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 3:54am<b>perdix</b> - the 09/13/2010 at 10:49pm

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nisey3313's favorite FMLs

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

by dumped / 06/05/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

by phoenix101 / 05/16/2011 at 1:40am / Intimacy

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2011 at 1:50am / United States (Kentucky) / Money

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML

by PsychoSarah / 04/06/2011 at 7:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2011 at 5:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2011 at 5:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was woken up by my 5 year old daughter hitting me with a pillow because she had a dream that I was using her tooth brush on the dog. We don't have a dog. She is now refusing to brush her teeth. FML

by Anonymous / 03/18/2011 at 5:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, after disappearing for an unusually long period of time, my boss called the store phone while sitting on the toilet. Turns out she'd started bleeding uncontrollably from the arse, and as the only other female staff member, she needed me to go help her. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2011 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Work

Today, I was on the bus, it hit a bump on the road and made me hit a elderly man. The bus driver thought I did it on purpose and made me get off. FML

by Parade / 02/28/2011 at 1:00am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, at my strictly Catholic grandmother's funeral, I was made to sit in the row behind the rest of the family, because I was born out of wedlock and wasn't a 'real' member. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous