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nisey3313

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nisey3313
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 3029
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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nisey3313's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML

#17153294
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42239) - you deserved it (3754)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by Cinnamon (man) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2629)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
428 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66635) - you deserved it (6939)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML

#17063070
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53025) - you deserved it (2641)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (14874)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (14874)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (14874)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
389 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47040) - you deserved it (14874)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I tried to comfort my daughter who'd been crying non-stop for hours. She thinks Chuck Norris is coming to kill her, and I can't convince her otherwise. FML

#16936128
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31303) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/01/2011 at 1:42pm - kids - by parenting sucks - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33964) - you deserved it (4729)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

#16508942
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60525) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/05/2011 at 1:17am - love - by dumped - United States (Utah)

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61478) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31548) - you deserved it (19668)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (58351)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML

#15999720
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (3741)

On 05/01/2011 at 1:50am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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