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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35113) - you deserved it (3647)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40661) - you deserved it (2722)
On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was denied a job because the guy interviewing me said that I was an illiterate blonde girl who used fake words like "plethora" and "viable". I told him I would leave, after he spelled the word "illiterate". He spelled it wrong and had me escorted from the premises. "Eeletterote" my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40032) - you deserved it (1876)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Nefi (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36243) - you deserved it (2251)
On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)
Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37378) - you deserved it (4145) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31610) - you deserved it (2059)
On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24431) - you deserved it (1506)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
Today, my daughter finally gave birth to twin boys. She informed me that she named them Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck. My grandsons are named after Hobbits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20385) - you deserved it (3600)
On 12/06/2012 at 11:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (1744)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (1744)
On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you deserved it (3707)
On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16592) - you deserved it (2075)
On 10/14/2012 at 10:57am - kids - by Nickki - United States
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (2352)
On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29027) - you deserved it (3192)
On 07/14/2012 at 8:50pm - intimacy - by checkup (man) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35080) - you deserved it (1736)
On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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