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nippleburn's favorite FMLs
by blah! / 12/08/2013 at 8:19am / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Shades of Grey in an attempt to learn how to please me in bed. Now all he does is suck on my toes, and thinks it's weird that I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nymphomaniacal weirdo. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my neighbor passed away, and my father and I went to give his wife our condolences. In the middle of my dad's conversation with the wife, he says "I'm sorry for your loss, I knew Jim well, he was a great guy." The wife stares at him and says, "His name was Rich." FML
by Elliott_B / 06/24/2011 at 11:54am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden… Today, after months of dating, I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to take things to the next level.… Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on…