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ninthsanctum's FML badges
Up and coming moderator
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
ninthsanctum's favorite FMLs
by :^( / 12/07/2013 at 12:30pm / Bahrain (Madinat) / Health
Today, my wife made me a Sex Rewards Chart, where I get points by doing chores and such, and 50 points gets me some action. She refuses to even look at me if I haven't earned the points, and is contemplating sleeping alone in the guest room until I earn more points. FML
by feiedbutter / 12/07/2013 at 9:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/07/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I took a nap, fully clothed. I woke up to him panicking. He'd had a wet dream and was scared that his sperm somehow swam through several layers of clothing and got me pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 12/06/2013 at 4:37pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
by linzl00 / 12/06/2013 at 7:21am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Chatons / 12/05/2013 at 1:52am / Switzerland / Animals
by Awkward / 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Broke / 12/04/2013 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Money
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/18/2013 at 1:53pm / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by smiley1014 / 11/18/2013 at 4:14am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/23/2013 at 12:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/21/2013 at 5:22pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…