About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja.
If you wanna talk, message me. If you can find me that is....
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28446) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6297) - you deserved it (20388)
On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15153) - you deserved it (3069)
On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend woefully admitted that she thinks of me more as a brother than as a boyfriend, all while I was still inside her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (2437)
On 01/27/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (2592)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32050) - you deserved it (3158)
On 01/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States
Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22331) - you deserved it (3487)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:02pm - misc - by terrified - United States
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31652) - you deserved it (2461)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34388)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (1577)
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (31301)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (21528) - you deserved it (2089)
On 01/06/2012 at 6:40am - intimacy - by only 10 more hours to go (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35569) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23113) - you deserved it (10236)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Friday 24 May 2013
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