ninjuh_wingman

Search for a member

Offline (one hour ago)

ninjuh_wingman

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 February 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13035
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I do many ninja things. If you drop by, you saw nothing. I don't exist...except I do. I'm watching you.

\( ̄<  ̄)>

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>AAHHHHH</b> - yesterday at 1:39am<b>Myeyesbleed</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 12:49am<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 2:24pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 2:29pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:33pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 7:26am<b>rosieee777</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:28pm<b>xxsarsarxx</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:13pm<b>cuponoods</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>nezzner_72</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:38pm<b>Nina825</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:45am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:26pm<b>indigohero</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:57am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:23am

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:33am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:53pm<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:25am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:47am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:10pm

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 9:48am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

by frenchy / 03/24/2009 at 1:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

by Bden / 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

by webcammistake / 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

by textraped / 03/16/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

by Noname / 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

by TuralSucks / 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

by missy / 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids