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ninjuh_wingman

Offline (the 05/13/2015 at 4:46am) | Search for a member

ninjuh_wingman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9477
  • Number of comments : 498
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I like doing ninja stuff. That is all.

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>Techmalologist</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:23pm<b>csi</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:47am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:53pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Culpie229</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:41am<b>launchpadmcquack</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:16pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:41pm<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:42pm<b>british_bad_luck</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:45am<b>x_hero</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:17am<b>bethylh95</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:46pm<b>SeriousJoker72</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>Anonymus1111</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:55pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:18pm<b>ryamn</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:46am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:17am

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ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to 70 new text messages and 100 calls all from numbers I didn't know. The night before I got into a heated argument with my old best friend about who was prettier. She got mad and posted my number on Craigslist as a prostitute. Apparently I won. FML

#721624
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71200) - you deserved it (22339)

On 03/31/2009 at 9:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

#681492
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (80672)

On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (171918) - you deserved it (34296)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, I work in a grocery store and a woman suffering from diarrhea somehow managed to get shit up and down two of the store aisles, then go to the ladies room and mess up the stall. I was the only one working trained in deal with bio-hazardous waste so I had to clean it up. FML

#570942
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (114444) - you deserved it (8665)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:47am - work - by frenchy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63738) - you deserved it (6775)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, was my first serious photoshoot as a male model for a high-end clothing line. It was a nude photoshoot, with kind of an Adam and Eve theme. After the first couple of pictures with the extremly sexy female model, I got a boner. There were still 100 shots left to go. FML

#512486
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51470) - you deserved it (20425)

On 03/21/2009 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Bden (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

#505587
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71442) - you deserved it (11911)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was on a webcam with my friend. We were joking around so I stood up and flashed her. Her grandma choose that second to walk past and look at the screen. Her grandma now thinks were lesbians and that I'm a whore. FML

#416306
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21482) - you deserved it (71799)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by webcammistake (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

#370215
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49830) - you deserved it (37440)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by textraped (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I walked behind a girl I hooked up with last weekend while she was on the computer in the library. I noticed she was looking at my facebook page and got excited. Then I heard her say to her friend, "This is the one smallest penis I have ever seen." FML

#273753
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70731) - you deserved it (8999)

On 03/11/2009 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (251888) - you deserved it (16433)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

#253900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82616) - you deserved it (8125)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:54pm - misc - by missy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

#239452
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8789) - you deserved it (80457)

On 03/08/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Smash_Mouth - United States (Florida)

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

#234103
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58089) - you deserved it (18363)

On 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm - kids - by Dang-ItsDanielle (woman) - United States (California)



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