About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja.
If you wanna talk, message me. If you can find me that is....
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25867) - you deserved it (3920)
On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, a man on the bus questioned my sexuality for being a male nurse. I asked him what he did and he said he worked in a garage. When I pointed out that I work with sexy nurses all day and he works with sweaty guys, he punched me in the stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29546) - you deserved it (5143)
Today, I approached a cute girl at a club, when she started barking at me like a rabid dog. Thinking she might be mentally unhinged, I left, only to see the same girl laughing her ass off with her friends minutes later. When I went back over, her friends started barking at me too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18466) - you deserved it (4271)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)
Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (2131)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (2159)
On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I caught a coworker at my new job staring at my chest. Trying not to rock the boat, I took him aside and asked him to stop. He insisted he was just trying to read my shirt. Our company uniforms don't have writing on them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17576) - you deserved it (2170)
On 06/03/2012 at 6:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29442) - you deserved it (2416)
On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (3091)
On 06/03/2012 at 3:45am - misc - by ilovezim29 - United States (California)
Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (1038)
On 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm - health - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (1761)
On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)
Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (4639)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States
Today, an extremely hot police officer reprimanded me. It was pretty awkward considering she stopped me because of public urination. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3508) - you deserved it (19063)
On 05/27/2012 at 11:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to Busch Gardens. Trying to cool off, I got on a ride that soaked me to the bone. For the rest of the time I was there, my bra was visible through my clothes, along with the "Hell Yeah" printed on my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5934) - you deserved it (21812)
On 05/27/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by taylortotscx - United States (Florida)
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18272) - you deserved it (3413)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out where all my missing panties have gone, when my 12-year-old daughter was caught selling them to the boys at school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (2529)
On 05/09/2012 at 6:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)
Monday 17 June 2013
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