Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjuh_wingman

Offline (the 05/13/2015 at 4:46am) | Search for a member

ninjuh_wingman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9512
  • Number of comments : 498
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I like doing ninja stuff. That is all.

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>Techmalologist</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:23pm<b>csi</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:47am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:53pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Culpie229</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:41am<b>launchpadmcquack</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:16pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:41pm<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:42pm<b>british_bad_luck</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:45am<b>x_hero</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:17am<b>bethylh95</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:46pm<b>SeriousJoker72</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>Anonymus1111</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:55pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:18pm<b>ryamn</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:46am<b>kerripjones</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 8:17am

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

#1328143
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63767) - you deserved it (5882)

On 04/25/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

#1316192
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12051) - you deserved it (80256)

On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principal came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML

#1163738
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102238) - you deserved it (4695)

On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

#1131048
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66675) - you deserved it (6937)

On 04/19/2009 at 8:17pm - animals - by yuckspider (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, is my 21st birthday. I get home after my night out and walk into the garage to see a 2002 Red Corvette convertible. I run up to the car thinking its a gift and there's a note: "Dani this is not your birthday present. Quit drooling on my car. -Dad" Thanks Dad. FML

#1124896
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55250) - you deserved it (12848)

On 04/19/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by scarletdurose88 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43217) - you deserved it (15751)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend left her phone on a bus. With no way to pick it up, I drove 40 miles through Friday night Boston traffic to get it from the bus company office. It took me four hours. Bored in traffic, I discovered the texts from her other boyfriend. FML

#1064641
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79582) - you deserved it (4412)

On 04/17/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Safe - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally hooked up with a guy I've been hanging out with for 2 months. Afterwards, while we're getting dressed he says "You better be clean. If you're not tell me now so I dont pass it on to my girlfriend." Stunned, all I could say was, "Girlfriend?!" His reply, "Well technically my fiancée." FML

#992330
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73774) - you deserved it (13286)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by oops123 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom asked if she could use my red dress for her two-week trip to the Caribbean. I said no, because I was going to a party and I wanted to wear it. She called me a selfish, greedy bitch who would stay single forever. I paid for her plane ticket, her hotel fees and her cruise ship fee. FML

#976819
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (187782) - you deserved it (13709)

On 04/14/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breaths on my neck. When I was about to finish he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck/ear and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML

#946038
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102193) - you deserved it (8800)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:07am - intimacy - by bodyelectric (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool. When I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

#937193
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49323) - you deserved it (19026)

On 04/12/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by imbx (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

#882565
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42098) - you deserved it (16456)

On 04/09/2009 at 4:44am - work - by Uglyshirts (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

#843077
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80930) - you deserved it (3214)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:42pm - kids - by omgn00blolz89 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, we were swimming in gym class. There are some cute girls in our class and they were wearing their bikinis. I was looking at them when I got an erection but since I was underwater I thought no one would see. I'm on the diving team so my teacher asked me to demonstrate a dive to the class. FML

#742814
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59830) - you deserved it (15547)

On 04/01/2009 at 8:16am - intimacy - by easilyexited (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the mall. We were looking at jewellery in Zales and she came across the engagement rings. She looks at one and says, "Are you kidding me? That ring is hideous and it's the most expensive one here! Who the fuck would buy that?" Well, that would be me. FML

#731686
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64932) - you deserved it (6113)

On 03/31/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by jkl54 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: