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ninjuh_wingman

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ninjuh_wingman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9081
  • Number of comments : 498
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I like doing ninja stuff. That is all.

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ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking out of mah front door in the town where I intern . I live alone and know no one . As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between mah mat and step . I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML

#2059220
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71561) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Yesterday , I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the looool piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening , and said (as we walked past a car full of men) , "Well of course it hurts when u put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70311) - you deserved it (7956)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

yesterday I went bowling . The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself an had a few of his own bowling balls, an he had one that looked like a yin-yang an it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins . Not really thinking, I casually said to him ( Hey, I like your balls . ) FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (52884)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I woke up to a hand rubbing mah very erect penis , an a woman's peppermint breath in mah ear!! "Mom?" I called out instinctively , recalling how she alway smell like peppermint!! The hand stopped rubbing , an I turned to face mah very disgusted looking grlfriend of three years!! FML

#2005903
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28957) - you deserved it (86159)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today , I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great , my brother and him would love to see the game. I said , no , I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. mega FML

#1926739
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62215) - you deserved it (2603)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today, I gave mah 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14487) - you deserved it (75070)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today.. . it's te five year anniversary of fater's deat . I was cuddling wit boyfriend and crying about ow muc I missed im . He replied wit.. . ( Sometimes.. . I tink you just like to ear yourself talk . ) FML

#1845741
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85273) - you deserved it (10021)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriendho I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around lyk they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old childho was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77646) - you deserved it (8609)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the grl I have loved 4 almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77177) - you deserved it (6687)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71814) - you deserved it (8099)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY WAS MAH FIRST MEETING WITH BUSINESS PARTNERS AS I AM NEW TO THE TEAM. INSTEAD OF SAYING THAT I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO "STRETCHING MAH LEGS" OR "SPREADING MAH WINGS" I TOLD THEM I WAS ANXIOUS TO START "SPREADING MAH LEGS". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57531) - you deserved it (20011)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I ad an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer . I apparently signd papers allowing an intern to do it fir practice . Se was in er early 20s and smoking ot so as se was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection . FML

#1525413
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72996) - you deserved it (24891)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, I met ma paternal grandfater 4 te frst time. I’ve spent te last tree monts tracking im down. I pourd ma eart out and told about ow muc tis meant to me. He told me I ad a nice rack and askd 4 a cigarette. FML

#1475511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81979) - you deserved it (8036)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS PLAYING ONA ON ONA SOCCAR WITH A GIRL LIKA. I ACCIDANTALLY KICKAD THA BALL RIGHT INTO HAR FACA. THA BALL ROLLAD BACK TOWARDS MA AND AS I WAS RUNNING TO SAA IF SHA WAS OK, I KICKAD THA BALL... RIGHT INTO HAR FACA AGAIN. FML

#1452410
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64452) - you deserved it (29211)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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