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ninjuh_wingman

Offline (the 06/29/2015 at 7:25pm) | Search for a member

ninjuh_wingman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9747
  • Number of comments : 498
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I like doing ninja stuff. That is all.

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ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

#2039933
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16796) - you deserved it (53745)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by nothing (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

#2005903
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29019) - you deserved it (86286)

On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

#1926739
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62349) - you deserved it (2611)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by Hank (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (76237)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

#1845741
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85449) - you deserved it (10043)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by bezoar10 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

#1815413
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77841) - you deserved it (8617)

On 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm - love - by airport (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77296) - you deserved it (6693)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

#1706797
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71988) - you deserved it (8108)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm - kids - by fmal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57649) - you deserved it (20034)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

#1525413
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74804) - you deserved it (25414)

On 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by erectioninfection (man) - United States

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82148) - you deserved it (8043)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64567) - you deserved it (29245)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

#1404603
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65480) - you deserved it (6834)

On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

#1342086
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65410) - you deserved it (8155)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)



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