ninjuh_wingman

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ninjuh_wingman

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12152
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I do many ninja things. If you drop by, you saw nothing. I don't exist...except I do. I'm watching you. \( ̄<  ̄)>

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:33pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:10am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 7:26am<b>rosieee777</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:28pm<b>xxsarsarxx</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:13pm<b>cuponoods</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>nezzner_72</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:38pm<b>Nina825</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:45am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:26pm<b>indigohero</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:57am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:23am<b>Emyka</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 6:09am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:05pm<b>cdgrayson</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:27am

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:33am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:53pm<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:25am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:47am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:10pm

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

by nothing / 05/18/2009 at 1:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

by Hank / 05/14/2009 at 10:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cell phone rang while I was still asleep. I picked it up, half asleep, only to find it was a wrong number from some guy. Three minutes later I receive a text message saying "Hey, you sound cute..." from the same number. I looked to see if he was local. I'm that desperate. FML

by paprgrl421 / 05/13/2009 at 1:14pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

by firewait / 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, it's the five year anniversary of my father's death. I was cuddling with my boyfriend and crying about how much I missed him. He replied with, "Sometimes, I think you just like to hear yourself talk." FML

by bezoar10 / 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flew to see my long distance boyfriend who I haven't seen in 6 months. Upon seeing me, he ran up to me, picked me up and swung me around like they do in the movies. In doing so, my foot hit a 4 year old child who was running past and knocked him out. FML

by airport / 05/10/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

by Anonymous / 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

by fmal / 05/06/2009 at 11:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had an ultrasound in fear of testicular cancer. I apparently signed papers allowing an intern to do it for practice. She was in her early 20s and smoking hot so as she was rubbing jelly on my testes I got an erection. FML

by erectioninfection / 05/01/2009 at 2:21pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

by cgold / 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

by Mikey / 04/26/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous