About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfathers funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43898) - you deserved it (2075)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Lyingboyfriend (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40401) - you deserved it (3836)
On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61251) - you deserved it (3618)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43957) - you deserved it (2116)
On 07/20/2009 at 12:04am - love - by thicklysettled (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out the real cause of my dog's illness that she had just recovered from. When my sister took her in to see the vet, the vet said my dog was constipated, and swallowed something orange. That orange thing happened to be my favorite thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28794) - you deserved it (4236)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:02am - animals - by orangethonglover (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my friend posted my picture on Craigslist under the "men seeking men" section. I got 16 replies with 2 hours. He then decided to post another picture of me under "men seeking women" to compare results. The only reply I got was from a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38378) - you deserved it (2785)
On 07/13/2009 at 9:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (4607)
On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46992) - you deserved it (366)
On 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (104505) - you deserved it (3363)
On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46235) - you deserved it (5873)
On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58149) - you deserved it (3210)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years who had taken a job in a new city last month came into town and told me that she had slept with a co-worker last Friday. Last Friday I was incredibly lonely but I turned down a very attractive woman because I didn't want to hurt my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46403) - you deserved it (3952)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by BrokenHearted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67404) - you deserved it (9726)
On 06/30/2009 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39386) - you deserved it (4430)
On 06/28/2009 at 7:09pm - misc - by sk8rgurl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58618) - you deserved it (7996)
On 06/28/2009 at 12:05pm - love - by honeymoonisover (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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