Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjuh_wingman

Offline (yesterday at 10:42pm) | Search for a member

ninjuh_wingman

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9534
  • Number of comments : 498
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I like doing ninja stuff. That is all.

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>Defalt</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Techmalologist</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:23pm<b>csi</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 10:47am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 1:52pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 5:53pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 5:53pm<b>Culpie229</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 10:41am<b>launchpadmcquack</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 6:16pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 9:41pm<b>swmmrrnr</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 9:28am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 1:42pm<b>british_bad_luck</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 7:45am<b>x_hero</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:17am<b>bethylh95</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 4:46pm<b>SeriousJoker72</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 2:12am<b>Anonymus1111</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 3:55pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:18pm<b>ryamn</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 6:46am

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

#5173603
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12586) - you deserved it (69563)

On 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm - love - by itisthedude (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML

#5163835
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (36287)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML

#5094881
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (54209)

On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

#4975904
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52754) - you deserved it (4007)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:48pm - money - by adriana (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was at my only sister's wedding. She gave a speech about the person who means the most to her. She said, "She is my favorite sister who has always been there for me." Being her only sister, I got up to hug her. Turns out she was talking about her slutty sorority sister. Not me. FML

#4952830
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51017) - you deserved it (3436)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:21pm - misc - by ohsugarxo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

#4925971
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32949) - you deserved it (41365)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36451) - you deserved it (4130)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

#4696975
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59013) - you deserved it (3417)

On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60967) - you deserved it (5473)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16205) - you deserved it (44167)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

#4662087
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53730) - you deserved it (7200)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:38pm - intimacy - by kneesarethenewdesk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML

#4580514
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60424) - you deserved it (7352)

On 08/16/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my grandma went to get birthday gifts for my twin sister and me. She returned with 2 shirts that read "I see you've met the twins" in big letters across the chest. She gave them to us and said, "Isn't this cute? 'cause you're twins!" I then had to explain to her what the shirt was actually referring to. FML

#4530948
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (3805)

On 08/14/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by twingirl (woman) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

#4483949
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40382) - you deserved it (3927)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

#4467234
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55822) - you deserved it (3071)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:01am - love - by FUSMC (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: