ninjuh_wingman

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ninjuh_wingman

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11819
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I do many ninja things. If you drop by, you saw nothing. I don't exist...except I do. I'm watching you. \( ̄<  ̄)>

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 7:26am<b>rosieee777</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:28pm<b>xxsarsarxx</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:13pm<b>cuponoods</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>nezzner_72</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:38pm<b>Nina825</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:45am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:26pm<b>indigohero</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:57am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:23am<b>Emyka</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 6:09am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:05pm<b>cdgrayson</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:27am<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:07am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:30am

Fucked!<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:53pm<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:25am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:47am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:10pm

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

by susan / 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

by needanewride / 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

by thebeachisthatway / 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was slapped by a fourteen-year-old girl because I was apparently "stealing her boyfriend." I'm twenty-five, and her boyfriend is my nephew. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 8:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

by useyourownbed / 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

by well okay then / 09/10/2012 at 12:39am / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML

by hatemyluck / 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML

by thatgirl17 / 08/31/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I was pretty upset, so one of my guy friends offered to comfort me and get some ice cream. Apparently his definition of "comforting" is to feel my tits and try to get me to give him head. FML

by m / 08/21/2012 at 9:59pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

by SquishFish / 08/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

by Samantha / 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy