Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjuh_wingman

Search for a member

ninjuh_wingman
  • Town/Country : SF. The city by the Bay., USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 March 1993 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 6306
  • Number of comments : 484
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I like doing ninja stuff. That is all.

ninjuh_wingman's last visitors

buonotomatoyoursmileishawtmelonsFedergirlEarrings100CorpsmanUp88leeebeeeee18mariannezrkhaoticpandaWaistDownUnder

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
147 comments

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

#18531722
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (5164)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML

#18464488
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7346) - you deserved it (68945)

On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML

#18444089
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (4423)

On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML

#18438378
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25294) - you deserved it (3850)

On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

#18424954
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27937) - you deserved it (4800)

On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

#18418543
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50971) - you deserved it (5172) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/03/2011 at 11:24am - kids - by perenoel - France

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33657) - you deserved it (4343)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

#18346239
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18559) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:24am - misc - by tireedddddd - United States (New York)

Today, I was jogging around the neighborhood when I went past a bar. There were lots of drunk men outside telling me to come over so they could give me the night of my life. One of those men was my grandpa. FML

#18329245
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36457) - you deserved it (2149)

On 11/23/2011 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's "therapy" meetings have been with my best friend, in his truck. FML

#18286788
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (3446)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:20am - intimacy - by Aleial - United States

Today, my mother, her fiancé, and I were having dinner together. My mother was joking that she wasn't sure she could hold him down, as he used to "get around." She turned to talk to the waiter and my future step-father looked me up and down and winked. FML

#18279508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29324) - you deserved it (1935)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35210) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (2825) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

#18217676
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7036) - you deserved it (98351)

On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: