About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23173) - you deserved it (10254)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40343) - you deserved it (2820)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23505) - you deserved it (4495)
On 12/29/2011 at 10:48am - health - by OH COME ON (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband left his laptop logged in to a chat site after leaving for work. Curious, I read some of the logs, and discovered he has been posing as a woman and holding filthy conversations with "hot teen lesbians" for the past several months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37150) - you deserved it (4345)
On 12/24/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12340) - you deserved it (28147)
On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML
I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (3169)
On 12/23/2011 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (2264)
On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)
Today, I started undressing in front of my boyfriend. He politely said, "Excuse me, please" because I was blocking the T.V. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22537) - you deserved it (5329)
On 12/22/2011 at 12:26pm - intimacy - by lalala - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15688) - you deserved it (5903)
On 12/21/2011 at 12:12am - love - by 409sPoisonGirl - Australia
Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (4088)
On 12/16/2011 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by anne (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5906) - you deserved it (52739)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I discovered that the word 'randy' means 'horny' in England. I'm going to England next semester to study abroad. My name is Randy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (3566)
On 12/06/2011 at 10:36am - intimacy - by ThisIsGonnaBeAwkward (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (2891)
On 12/05/2011 at 6:32pm - kids - by santashelper - United States
Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24167) - you deserved it (3720)
On 12/04/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by D (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47543) - you deserved it (4258) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 17 June 2013
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