ninjuh_wingman

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ninjuh_wingman

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 2 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12561
  • Number of comments : 511
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I do many ninja things. If you drop by, you saw nothing. I don't exist...except I do. I'm watching you. \( ̄<  ̄)>

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 6:33pm<b>slappygecko</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 11:10am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 4:53pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 7:26am<b>rosieee777</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 6:28pm<b>xxsarsarxx</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 6:13pm<b>cuponoods</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 5:50am<b>nezzner_72</b> - the 03/13/2016 at 11:38pm<b>Nina825</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 4:34am<b>am1717</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 10:45am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:26pm<b>indigohero</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:57am<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:23am<b>Emyka</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 6:09am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:05pm<b>cdgrayson</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:27am

Fucked!<b>tranced_</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:33am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 04/20/2016 at 10:53pm<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:25am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:47am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:10pm

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

by anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm / Portugal (Lisboa) / Transportation

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 9:32am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

by immaturity all around / 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm / United States / Love

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

by unknown / 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm / France / Love

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

by guy / 03/15/2013 at 1:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

by wow / 03/14/2013 at 11:43am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

by Roses are Red / 03/07/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

by Will this stupid fad ever end? / 03/06/2013 at 6:51am / United States / Work

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

by Puppylove / 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

by andy / 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Kids