Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjuh_wingman

Online | Search for a member

ninjuh_wingman

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 6 March 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 11174
  • Number of comments : 507
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja. I do many ninja things. If you drop by, you saw nothing. I don't exist. \( ̄<  ̄)>

ninjuh_wingman's page activity

Visits<b>LivToFail</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:26pm<b>indigohero</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:51pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 10:57am<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:40pm<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:34pm<b>cprad11</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 8:23am<b>Emyka</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 6:09am<b>LilMissCanadian</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:05pm<b>cdgrayson</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:27am<b>suprisebitch</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 10:07am<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:30am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:22pm<b>CheshireHalli</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 7:31pm<b>TacoMan02</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 12:53pm<b>_May2Brown_</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 1:53pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:53am<b>Ghif123</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 6:44pm<b>TrippingOnAcid</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 2:10pm

Fucked!<b>lahutchins</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:25am<b>LivToFail</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 6:47am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 10/13/2015 at 7:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 7:10pm

ninjuh_wingman's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of ninjuh_wingman's badges

ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44750) - you deserved it (4045)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41211) - you deserved it (7044)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML

#20572997
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50716) - you deserved it (5926)

On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML

#20568440
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38057) - you deserved it (6747)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States

Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML

#20567033
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49220) - you deserved it (3516)

On 03/30/2013 at 3:02pm - love - by unknown - France

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69889) - you deserved it (17654)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50775) - you deserved it (3228)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

#20543365
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55182) - you deserved it (7006)

On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you deserved it (12504)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33958) - you deserved it (4770)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29336) - you deserved it (9847)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39282) - you deserved it (4354)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43980) - you deserved it (10318)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41105) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: