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ninjuh_wingman

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ninjuh_wingman
  • Town/Country : California, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2338
  • Number of comments : 364
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja.


If you wanna talk, message me. If you can find me that is....

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ninjuh_wingman's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (8136)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (3106)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20118) - you deserved it (6445)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28674) - you deserved it (2883)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (1426)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33891) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (3977)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1900)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (7096)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20726) - you deserved it (7096)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19283) - you deserved it (4099)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37999) - you deserved it (2046)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29863) - you deserved it (2762)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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Monday 20 May 2013

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