About ninjuh_wingman : I'm a ninja.
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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
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Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (7523)
On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47850) - you deserved it (2790)
On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)
Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43849) - you deserved it (3943)
On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36300) - you deserved it (6973)
On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41535) - you deserved it (6728)
On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38812) - you deserved it (4148)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43040) - you deserved it (3490)
On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (2279)
On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32729) - you deserved it (4922)
On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I dropped our daughter. Our hypothetical daughter. Represented by a stuffed owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40393) - you deserved it (3822)
On 04/03/2013 at 9:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28104) - you deserved it (4377)
On 03/31/2013 at 1:55pm - love - by immaturity all around (woman) - United States
Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38833) - you deserved it (2147)
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50578) - you deserved it (10761)
On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40313) - you deserved it (1998)
On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (8848)
On 03/14/2013 at 11:43am - intimacy - by wow (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Monday 20 May 2013
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