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ninjawatcher

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ninjawatcher
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  • Number of visits : 83
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ninjawatcher's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17279) - you deserved it (32644)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29996) - you deserved it (2654)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (4558)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having lunch at McDonald's when I dropped a French fry down my shirt. It stuck out the top of my bra. Before I had the chance to remove it, a creepy man picked it out and ate it saying that it was the best French fry he had ever eaten. FML

#19000148
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36678) - you deserved it (3436)

On 02/05/2012 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved



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