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ninjastixx

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ninjastixx
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 31
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ninjastixx's favorite FMLs

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22875) - you deserved it (2401)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my elbow was having cramps and movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins and wires that are being rejected by my body. One painful twitch caused my arm to lock out straight, unintentionally slapping my hand into my co-worker's crotch. Our waiting customers giggled. FML

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6955) - you deserved it (21497)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31039) - you deserved it (4718)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16286) - you deserved it (6581)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12697) - you deserved it (22545)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (1898)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11630) - you deserved it (51470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, my blanket got caught on my nose ring and it took my boyfriend over an hour to get it free. Afterwards, he admitted he was trying not to laugh because it reminded him of a bullfight. FML

#18726895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9868) - you deserved it (24834)

On 01/06/2012 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - Mexico (Zacatecas)

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7864) - you deserved it (100285)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML

#3019033
269 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9216) - you deserved it (87764)

On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69233) - you deserved it (179651)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

#748414
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16820) - you deserved it (104102)

On 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm - health - by nic (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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