Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjaqueen101

Search for a member

ninjaqueen101

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 924
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ninjaqueen101's page activity

Visits<b>fatfudger</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:18pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:54pm<b>tolzee21</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:36am<b>infected150</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:38pm<b>SacredLight2</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 9:00pm<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 5:13pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:18pm<b>sneeks</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 4:37am<b>Amok</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:38pm<b>sirdroosef</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 5:25pm<b>scottfl</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 4:29pm<b>asb818</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 4:53pm<b>Stacy__me</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:05am<b>Brianna1884</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 5:56pm<b>starflyer59</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:07pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:07am

ninjaqueen101's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of ninjaqueen101's badges

ninjaqueen101's favorite FMLs

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband why saving the condom from the first time we had sex is not romantic. FML

#21054738
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51137) - you deserved it (5811)

On 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by O_o - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31450) - you deserved it (16703)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44026) - you deserved it (13109)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49666) - you deserved it (6232)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (12481)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (4636)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42330) - you deserved it (5690)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51490) - you deserved it (11542)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39967) - you deserved it (10476)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (15493)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48793) - you deserved it (6596)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42418) - you deserved it (7757)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42364) - you deserved it (5580)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (4664)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: