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ninjaqueen101's FML badges
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ninjaqueen101's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mess around at my workplace's parking lot. Things got hot and steamy, but in the middle of it all, there came a bang at my car window. My frantic boss had seen us and thought I was being attacked. FML
by unknown / 03/07/2014 at 7:53pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by scaredypants123 / 03/07/2014 at 10:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Catuser / 03/05/2014 at 10:09pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Silver_Jet / 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML
by hbbbs / 03/01/2014 at 7:58pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML
by Anonymous / 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
by baxeh / 02/27/2014 at 5:42pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML
by owmyfoot / 02/23/2014 at 9:22pm / United States (California) / Health
by ninaaaa / 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by weak / 02/23/2014 at 9:36am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML
by Anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Health
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual…