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ninjaqueen101

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ninjaqueen101
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 530
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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ninjaqueen101's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (15712)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

#21051812
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42660) - you deserved it (12100)

On 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm - misc - by tigerisabelle (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47276) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39764) - you deserved it (11621)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35158) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML

#21035414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39998) - you deserved it (5290)

On 01/21/2014 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48879) - you deserved it (10474)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37561) - you deserved it (9475)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, while having sex with my husband, we had to move around our cat during position changes. Our cat controls our sex life. FML

#20978895
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (14596)

On 12/02/2013 at 11:26pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (5177)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (7287)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

#20896706
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39921) - you deserved it (5074)

On 09/26/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by horriblefashionsense (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

#20896486
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (4002)

On 09/26/2013 at 3:06am - kids - by anotherfmladdict (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

#20895973
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33095) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/25/2013 at 7:22pm - work - by Abcporn (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML

#20895155
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40727) - you deserved it (3635)

On 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm - work - by littledipper - United States (New York)



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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