Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ninjaqueen101

Offline (10 hours ago) | Search for a member

ninjaqueen101

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1024
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ninjaqueen101's page activity

Visits<b>fatfudger</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 12:18pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 9:54pm<b>tolzee21</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:36am<b>infected150</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 7:38pm<b>SacredLight2</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 12:08am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 9:00pm<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 5:13pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 4:18pm<b>sneeks</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 4:37am<b>Amok</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 11:38pm<b>sirdroosef</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 5:25pm<b>scottfl</b> - the 09/19/2013 at 4:29pm<b>asb818</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 4:53pm<b>Stacy__me</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 9:05am<b>Brianna1884</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 5:56pm<b>starflyer59</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 1:07pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 10:07am

ninjaqueen101's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of ninjaqueen101's badges

ninjaqueen101's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (39634)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41440) - you deserved it (7242)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42313) - you deserved it (5028)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38596) - you deserved it (6695)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (3315)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50612) - you deserved it (3352)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42493) - you deserved it (4393)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39670) - you deserved it (4761)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41058) - you deserved it (22158)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I learned the valuable lesson that taking care of a baby crow isn't the best idea. He finally can fly away, but sits on my porch all day cawing for food. FML

#21179030
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35271) - you deserved it (11820)

On 06/18/2014 at 2:37am - animals - by a very unlucky dude. - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (8385)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: