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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1390
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjapiratejesus : I love food, running, video games, and my boyfriend :) What else could I need in life?

I am hoping to cosplay as Citra from Far Cry 3 in the near future...

I like all music; especially anything by Muse, Radiohead, Imagine Dragons, Metric, The Killers, The Gorillaz, Of Monsters and Men, Coldplay, The Shins, U2, Deadmau5, and Glitch Mob.

The Walking Dead is amazing.

ninjapiratejesus's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:11am<b>dubsdb</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:19am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:02pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:02pm<b>MattM95</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:56pm<b>maisha111</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:52am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:13pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:37pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:49pm<b>mattrd</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Korohi</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:30am<b>nomallama</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Thales_</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 6:09pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:43am<b>Pwn17</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:56am<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:55am<b>snydeeli000</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:14pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:11am

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ninjapiratejesus's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought I would make my first trip to the beach. While in the water, I was stung by a jellyfish. My friend had to pee on me. I went back into the water to wash the pee off and got stung by another jellyfish. FML

by Heather / 05/31/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (North Carolina) / Holidays

Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying "I'm good" or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML

by UncleRory / 05/16/2009 at 5:13am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

by Noname / 01/30/2009 at 1:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money