About ninjapiratejesus : I love food, running, video games, and my boyfriend :) What else could I need in life?
I am hoping to cosplay as Citra from Far Cry 3 in the near future...
I like all music; especially anything by Muse, Radiohead, Imagine Dragons, Metric, The Killers, The Gorillaz, Of Monsters and Men, Coldplay, The Shins, U2, Deadmau5, and Glitch Mob.
The Walking Dead is amazing.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (11146)
On 08/01/2011 at 4:32am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (107149) - you deserved it (5822)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35227) - you deserved it (2545)
On 06/08/2011 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26392) - you deserved it (2944)
On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States
Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26029) - you deserved it (4022)
On 03/25/2011 at 4:50am - misc - by radicaloser - United States (Oregon)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30285) - you deserved it (24916)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60032) - you deserved it (5176)
On 02/04/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34576) - you deserved it (4383)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42856) - you deserved it (6383)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33186) - you deserved it (1785)
On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (9436)
On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23139) - you deserved it (9534)
On 12/10/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23302) - you deserved it (8112)
On 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm - misc - by LoserOfTheYear (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35840) - you deserved it (2449)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40300) - you deserved it (8183)
On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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