ninjapiratejesus

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ninjapiratejesus

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1119
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ninjapiratejesus : I love food, running, video games, and my boyfriend :) What else could I need in life?

I am hoping to cosplay as Citra from Far Cry 3 in the near future...

I like all music; especially anything by Muse, Radiohead, Imagine Dragons, Metric, The Killers, The Gorillaz, Of Monsters and Men, Coldplay, The Shins, U2, Deadmau5, and Glitch Mob.

The Walking Dead is amazing.

ninjapiratejesus's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 12:11am<b>dubsdb</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:19am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 11/10/2015 at 1:02pm<b>hfudge</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:02pm<b>MattM95</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 1:56pm<b>maisha111</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 8:52am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 12:13pm<b>hailstorm187</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 10:37pm<b>shady_fox77</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 4:49pm<b>mattrd</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Korohi</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 1:30am<b>nomallama</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:14pm<b>Thales_</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 6:09pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 10:43am<b>Pwn17</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 4:56am<b>starlight300</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:55am<b>snydeeli000</b> - the 09/29/2013 at 4:14pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 6:11am

ninjapiratejesus's FML badges

Socialite

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I’m your new creative director

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Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of ninjapiratejesus's badges

ninjapiratejesus's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cups of tea have been tasting a bit funny. It turns out my kettle is full of ants, so every time I boil water to make tea, the ants get re-boiled along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2011 at 4:32am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

by blehhx / 04/09/2011 at 1:32am / United States / Animals

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

by radicaloser / 03/25/2011 at 4:50am / United States (Oregon) / Health

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was the last day of finals. After sleeping less than three hours in the last two days, I got in the car to go to school. For a second, I thought my steering wheel, the gas pedal, and brake pedal were all missing. That's when I realized I was sitting in the back seat. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 8:08am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

by LoserOfTheYear / 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

by Catscratch / 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

by DaveAlmighty / 07/02/2009 at 3:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous