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ninjamomo

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ninjamomo
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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ninjamomo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (7871)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

#19113107
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24435) - you deserved it (1917)

On 02/19/2012 at 3:55am - health - by preggo - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate demanded that I dance naked for him as a birthday present. When I declined, he offered to pay me. When I declined again, he stormed off to pout in his room and played really loud depressing music. We're both guys and I have 11 months left on my lease with him. FML

#17373472
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38457) - you deserved it (3089)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Creeped_out_n_stuck (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss gave me a speech about my "motivation issues". I've been working for him for 2 months, the commissions I've made for him paid off his bills, so what are my motivation issues? I turned down his offer of a date. I have a boyfriend. He keeps asking. FML

#16827644
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24603) - you deserved it (1716)

On 06/24/2011 at 1:11am - work - by Leah (woman) - United States

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61470) - you deserved it (3348)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went to get a tattoo. I decided on getting my four month daughter's name tattooed on my upper arm. I went home to show my wife. She broke down and told me that I'm most likely not the father. It's a toss-up between her co-worker, the guy who does our lawn, several strangers and me. FML

#14605764
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47975) - you deserved it (3646)

On 01/16/2011 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get my hair highlighted at the salon. The salonist mixed up my blonde hair dye with some other girl's hot pink and violet dye. Now I look like a cheap hooker. FML

#13938370
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (3789)

On 11/22/2010 at 4:14pm - misc - by linda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was excited to hear that I received three of my grad school recommendations in the mail from a very busy professor. They need to be submitted sealed, and of course, my nosy mom decided to open them. FML

#13785439
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29938) - you deserved it (2127)

On 11/10/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by dcsunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a concert. During the concert, my shoelaces went undone, so I bent down to tie them. Not two seconds later, the girl behind me jumped on my shoulders and refused to get down. She said "tall guys" are the best to ride on during concerts. My name is Maria. FML

#10612063
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (3438)

On 05/18/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by tallwoman (woman) - Denmark (Arhus)

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

#8692922
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20695) - you deserved it (1859)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm - work - by mcfaily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was with my boyfriend of two months, hoping this would be our night of the first kiss. I was so excited when the ball started to drop. When it hit "0", I turned to him, hoping for a kiss, and saw him making out with another girl. He didn't even turn around. FML

#7070397
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33268) - you deserved it (6529)

On 01/01/2010 at 12:12am - love - by ItSucks (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML

#6955134
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7268) - you deserved it (80980)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:18am - health - by rtrim29 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my dad and his new "girlfriend". A couple days ago I realized that my sexy clothes that my boyfriend had bought me for our anniversary was missing. Guess who was wearing it? FML

#6161509
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18834) - you deserved it (1584)

On 11/05/2009 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Meggie - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife and I decided to try a relationship book. The first activity was to write down some things your partner does that bothers you. I made a very long list, then my wife and I swapped papers. She'd written, "nothing, I love everything about you." She read my list and began tearing up. FML

#3648052
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23490) - you deserved it (63469)

On 07/10/2009 at 7:18pm - love - by failhusband (man) - United States (Utah)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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