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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ninja_ness

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ninja_ness
  • Town/Country : :D, :0
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 419
  • Number of comments : 62
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ninja_ness : I come on here to laugh at other peoples problems :3 it's as simple as that.

ninja_ness's last visitors

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ninja_ness's favorite FMLs

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738 (502)

I agree, your life sucks (9970) - you deserved it (6572)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739 (473)

I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (2242)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street to go to the movies, when I got punched in the back of the head. When I turned around, a stranger said, "HAHA! It's punch a random person day!" When I asked him why he chose me, he replied "You're ugly." FML

#17080145 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (29410) - you deserved it (3255)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:46pm - misc - by ManInPain (man) - United States

Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML

#17078585 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (7986)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:26am - misc - by turtle - United States (Illinois)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (1924)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732 (442)

I agree, your life sucks (9429) - you deserved it (35956)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

#17044811 (307)

I agree, your life sucks (32681) - you deserved it (4560)

On 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm - money - by Lame (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (22181) - you deserved it (3491)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my mom tried to sell me a bag of rice, with "Cocaine" written on the side of it in sharpie pen. In exchange for my soul. FML

#16993109 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (2539)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:54pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

#16619951 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (34739) - you deserved it (4345)

On 06/12/2011 at 12:21am - love - by daddylove - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

#16525233 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (25501) - you deserved it (4769)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:06am - misc - by dwhite032 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking home when a stranger came up to me and told me to give him a good reason why he shouldn't punch me in the face. I guess none were good enough. FML

#16370562 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (29358) - you deserved it (2683)

On 05/27/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810 (267)

I agree, your life sucks (48975) - you deserved it (7525)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085 (510)

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (7478)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (5434) - you deserved it (8180)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States