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Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (3369)
On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (27885)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (9387)
On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was wanking and starting thinking about why the Simpsons are yellow, and how that came to be. I haven't been laid in 4 years and my ADD is so crippling that I can't jack off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (4150)
On 12/21/2011 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (1526)
On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30376) - you deserved it (6102)
On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriends dog. After several trips around the block and plenty of strange looks I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11921) - you deserved it (30621)
On 05/01/2011 at 4:20am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I wanted to take my girlfriend to a nice dinner before prom. Her parents followed her in, and joined us to "keep an eye on me." They interrupted all our conversations, ate an expensive meal, then got up and walked out when the waitress brought the $95 check, leaving me to pay for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46838) - you deserved it (3544)
On 05/01/2011 at 1:50am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (3405)
On 08/15/2010 at 12:12am - animals - by goodbye-college (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24671) - you deserved it (1931)
On 11/19/2009 at 10:53am - health - by nolips (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33084) - you deserved it (6345)
On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, I woke up at 3 in the morning and realized I forgot a 30 page english essay that was due the next day. Knowing I still had 12 pages to research and write, I bolted. I worked until 12PM and was almost done when my dad came in and unplugged the computer because I "need to go outside more." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44971) - you deserved it (8544)
On 09/27/2009 at 2:43pm - misc - by riotrock (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my mum deleted my college research assignment on rape because the subject was too vulgar. I had worked on it for the past month and it was worth 50% of my grade. It's due tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54180) - you deserved it (2935)
On 07/31/2009 at 9:51pm - work - by mandy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (109288)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (343761) - you deserved it (40830)
On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)
Friday 24 May 2013
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