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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2513
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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ningyou's FML badges


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ningyou's favorite FMLs

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 2:06am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

by possiblyoverweight / 11/08/2011 at 9:01am / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Kids

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

by Anonymous / 10/16/2011 at 12:22am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up after having a wet dream about Marge Simpson. I really need to get laid. FML

by margelover / 10/11/2011 at 3:06pm / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend said I looked like ET and made me pose next to a full scale model of him while she took a picture. She's showing her friends the picture and they agree. FML

by srloin / 09/21/2011 at 12:42pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

by ohmaigawd / 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm / Argentina / Intimacy

Today, I was at the book store when a book caught my eye: Overcoming Anxiety For Dummies. I wanted to look through the book but I was too nervous to pick it up, thinking everyone in the store would look at me. FML

by Mack / 09/08/2011 at 8:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2011 at 7:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

by May / 09/04/2011 at 12:08am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

by dragos_dgt / 09/02/2011 at 3:48am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Work

Today, I started my first day working at a toddler day care center. At one point I decided to play "got your nose" with one of the kids. It turns out this kid has a physical birth abnormality on his face. I got his nose... his prosthetic nose. FML

by MJjunior / 08/31/2011 at 12:04pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

by hendrix1 / 08/25/2011 at 10:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (California) / Health